Bu·reauc·ra·cy

noun, plural bu·reauc·ra·cies.

1.government by many bureaus, administrators, and petty officials.

2.the body of officials and administrators, especially of a government or government department.

3.excessive multiplication of, and concentration of power in, administrative bureaus or administrators.

4.administration characterised by excessive red tape and routine.

 

Yes, I've got to that stage where I feel the need to write a blog post not only explaining the empire of the Beamte but also to recount my experiences with them, which hopefully will not turn into too much of a rant and might even serve to forward people yet to arrive in the Bundesländer.  

 

So, an attempt at some facts:  

• You must to register with the town or city in which you live.  This, whilst unfamiliar to Britons and a majority of other English speakers, is common in Europe.  This is useful, however, as it makes getting a bank account easier (and indeed possible for those outside the EU), entitles you to use various services or use them at a discount (this varies depending on where it is you live) and in Konstanz at least, gains you a hefty book of vouchers for many local businesses and attractions.  
• NB. You must fill in the religion field on the registration form, even if it is with "none" as the Church tax may be withheld from your pay depending on your answer ( 8% of one's income tax in Bavaria and Baden-Württemberg and 9% in the rest of the country).  If you don't your form won't be accepted. 
• In my experience the Bürgerbüro (lit. citizen's office - town hall) take things at a fairly sedate pace.  When some forms were returned (including mine) due to a blank religion field it was not until several days later.  Not a big problem for me but very much so for the non-Europeans who couldn't open a bank account without their name on the list of applicants.  Once the forms were resubmitted there was a further delay due to an unexplained half day and an away day for the staff.  Thus it was a good two weeks before I was officially a resident.  The non-EUers are still waiting on their cards which designate them, for want of a better term, as 'official' foreigners.

 

•  The private sector is not immune.  Banks (surprise surprise) are some of the worst offenders.  They like to make appointments to get you to do things and if you don't keep them bad things happen.
• So, my bank moan Odyssey:  
• I decided that I would open two accounts: one for my rent and one for everything else so I wouldn't spend my rent on Maßes (pun entirely intended) of Beer.  So forms filled in, passport photocopied, whole lot sent off - so far so good.  A few days later we troop into Deutsche Bank and set about depositing some money and paying a few fees.  This all went swimmingly.  
• However, being Mr. Awkward and having two accounts I was supposed to be in Sparkasse at the same time.  No problems I thought, I don't have to pay anything else so I don't need to worry.  Wrong.  It turns out that I needed to be there to sign something, as I didn't sign it my account was closed after a few days, although I still received a card and was unaware the account had closed.  
• Still, no big problem - I still have another, definitely open, account.  Well... That would be the case were I not (still) without card or PIN from DB leaving the money in my account almost entirely inaccessible.  Upon enquiring about this I discovered that they had been returned after not being delivered (my postbox has my name on it in letters visible from 6ft).  They have been resent, we shall see...
• As for SK, I only discovered that the account had been closed after a (very helpful) employee rang me to tell me after I'd been in to ask after my PIN.  "Would I like to make another appointment?" she asked "Why, yes" came the reply.  Unfortunately appointment making on the telephone is not possible, so back to the bank I went.

• Universities can be one man bands.
• So at the designated time and place I turned up to collect my Uni-Konstanz student card.  The list was checked, I'd turned everything in, however, I didn't receive my card as I'm not one of the lucky dozen who had their cards produced before the person responsible was taken ill.  This is, of course a shame and I wish them a speedy recovery; I also wish that someone else at a university with over 10,000 students was capable of producing student cards.  

So here endeth the rant. 

And here beginneth the lesson(s learnt):

• Germany may have a reputation for efficiency but this appears to be inspite of its system of many hoops requiring much jumping and proof of having jumped, or at least attempting to jump.  
• Bureaucracies do not differ the world over; my ability to understand them does.  
• Even small spanners, that don't seem to matter can throw a machine.  

Apologies for the lengthy entry, I promise the next one will be more fun. Bis Später.